My Political Exile –

2005-07-07T14:21:00.000-07:00

My Political Exile –

And the 5 Things you can do to get back in the Game:

Part 1 of a 3 part series

“Do you any thing to declare? How long have you been away? Business or pleasure? Do you know who the president of the United States is?”

All of these are pretty standard questions for a US customs official at John F. Kennedy international airport in New York. The one that struck me the most after studying abroad for a year, a year that happened to be an election year was:

“Do you know who the president of the United States is?”

“I used to.” I respond. Not to imply that I was that out of the political loop, I mean did know that Bush beat Kerry. But I didn’t know much more than that. After spending a year abroad in places as remote as the Sinai Desert, its hard not to come back slightly out of the political ‘know.’ It goes without saying that there is no Wi-Fi connection in the Reed Sea, and the Bedouins don’t exactly have internet cafes in their Chushas (tent colonies), they didn’t even have running water in some of the places I stayed. It was no shock that my Blackberry didn’t work out there either. Finally, I found it next to impossible to get the Washington Post delivered to my apartment in downtown Jerusalem, although I did try.

That’s all in the past now, I’ve been back for almost a month and I’m back in the game. It really isn’t as difficult as some might think. All it really takes is a lot of desire and a little guidance. Unfortunately, I was not privy to this knowledge so I had to pave my own road back into the political theater. There are, of course, more ways than the five steps I took, but these keep it simple and won’t bore you with reading the last nine months worth of Washington Posts.

Step 1: If It’s Put To Ink Your Ready to Think:

Reading the Paper

I know what your thinking, ‘oh read the newspaper, I knew that, even a liberal could of thought that one up’. But that’s where you’d be wrong. A lot of people will pick up the morning paper, scan the front page articles, then use the lack of information they think they just picked up to make small talk with the cute server at Starbucks while they pick up their fresh iced triple decaf mocha latte, fat free of course. That’s how most of America ‘reads’ the paper.

The paper I’m talking is the whole paper… well maybe not the classifieds, but the rest of it. Politically over looked, often ‘insignificant’ sections like style are arguably the most important sections to pick up lost knowledge. It’s not that important to read the review for the new Ben Affleck film, you’ve already seen it four times. It’s not as good as Boiler Room, but much better than Gigli. No surprises there, Ben gets in trouble, then gets out of it and ends up with the girl, kind of like James Bond only without the tuxedo, Martinior British accent. There are no surprises.

What is important, are the celebrity interviews. Sure they’re beautiful people, but they are not perfect. Celebrities tend to have a three month delay. What that means is that most celebrities will discuss their political views on a topic about three months after it hits the front page. Generally, they will just recycle what they herd on talk radio while their driver was taking them to get their face lift.

The comics are the same way. Strips like Boondocks by Aaron McGruder, or Non Sequitur by Wiley are published with the same delayed political agenda.

Other sections like the food section although it is generally only printed once a week, will also discuss politics. It isn’t necessarily as open a discussion as the World News section, but if you read in between the lines you will pick up far more knowledge than you could have dreamed of getting out of CNN.com. The phrase you are what you eat rings very true. The ‘hot spot’ restaurants and food trends can dictate, very clearly, where we are politically. If an article about the growing popularity of Hookah bars in the Washington metropolitan area is printed, like the one printed in the Washington Post on June 24, 2005, it can be viewed as a local approval the relationship between United States and the Middle East. If there is an article saying that coffee prices are sky-rocketing, that means that our relationship with South American countries may be slipping.

Step 2: Cartoons, Not just for Saturday Morning Anymore

We all remember when we were kids and we used to wake up early on Saturday morning so we could sit in front of the TV for about seven mindless hours watching Looney Tunes. Still wondering to this day, if the Road Runner ran into the door he painted onto the wall, how come when Wiley Coyote tried it was just paint? Okay, maybe it’s just me that’s still bothered by that. Today, there is a whole new age of cartoons. The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad and South Park are just a few of the new generation of cartoons taking over prime time television.

Now you’re probably thinking: “What does Homer Simpson have to do with House Majority Leader Tom Delay?” that or “My burrito is burning I should probably go take it out of the oven.” If I’m right, first, take the burrito out of the oven, then come back and we can go on.

Now that you’ve had a bite to eat, let’s get back to the relationship between Tom Delay, and Homer Simpson. It’s really very simple. Shows like The Simpsons and Family Guy are nothing but political commentary delivered in the medium of flashy, colorful, animated characters. For example, the Simpsons which aired on Sunday June 26, 2005 was entirely based on the issue of Gay marriages. The beauty of prime time television is that from the time a writer, like Family Guy’s Seth McFarlen, brainstorms an idea until it is able to hit the air is a minimum of two months. Generally the shows will be written some time around the summer or fall and then air during the next season, as much as eight months away.

Another reason prime time television can be such a useful tool in returning to the game, is because of reruns. We all hate turning on the TV after a long day of work and saying, ‘oh, I’ve already seen this one, wonder what’s on TiVo instead?” but like NBC used as their marketing slogan in 2000, ‘If you haven’t seen it, its new to you.’ Since we both know you haven’t seen the newspaper from last September, you might not have known that the issue plaguing the country was, whether or not gay marriage should be upheld as a legal union. That makes June 26, episode of The Simpsons your ‘get out of reading the New York Times free card.’